A Book of Nonsense, part 9 by Edward Lear

There was an Old Person of Spain,
Who hated all trouble and pain;
So he sate on a chair
with his feet in the air,
That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.

There was an Old Man who said, “Well!
Will nobody answer this bell?
I have pulled day and night,
till my hair has grown white,
But nobody answers this bell!”

There was an Old Man with an Owl,
Who continued to bother and howl;
He sat on a rail,
and imbibed bitter ale,
Which refreshed that Old Man and his Owl.

There was an Old Man in a casement,
Who held up his hands in amazement;
When they said, “Sir, you’ll fall!”
he replied, “Not at all!”
That incipient Old Man in a casement.

There was an Old Person of Ewell,
Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;
But to make it more nice,
he inserted some Mice,
Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.

There was an Old Man of Peru.
Who never knew what he should do;
So he tore off his hair,
and behaved like a bear,
That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, “It is just as I feared!--
Two Owls and a Hen,
four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard.”

There was a Young Lady whose eyes
Were unique as to color and size;
When she opened them wide,
people all turned aside,
And started away in surprise.

There was a Young Lady of Ryde,
Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;
She purchased some clogs,
and some small spotty Dogs,
And frequently walked about Ryde.

There was a Young Lady whose bonnet
Came untied when the birds sate upon it;
But she said, “I don’t care!
all the birds in the air
Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!”

A Book of Nonsense, part 8 by Edward Lear

There was a Young Lady of Parma,
Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:
When they said, “Are you dumb?”
she merely said, “Hum!”
That provoking Young Lady of Parma.

There was an Old Person of Sparta,
Who had twenty-five sons and one “darter;”
He fed them on Snails,
and weighed them in scales,
That wonderful Person of Sparta.

There was an Old Man on whose nose
Most birds of the air could repose;
But they all flew away
at the closing of day,
Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.

There was a Young Lady of Turkey,
Who wept when the weather was murky;
When the day turned out fine,
she ceased to repine,
That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.

There was an Old Man of Aosta
Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;
But they said, “Don’t you see
she has run up a tree,
You invidious Old Man of Aosta?”

There was a Young Person of Crete,
Whose toilette was far from complete;
She dressed in a sack
spickle-speckled with black,
That ombliferous Person of Crete.

There was a Young Lady of Clare,
Who was madly pursued by a Bear;
When she found she was tired,
she abruptly expired,
That unfortunate Lady of Clare.

There was a Young Lady of Dorking,
Who bought a large bonnet for walking;
But its color and size
so bedazzled her eyes,
That she very soon went back to Dorking.

There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
Who wished he had never been born;
So he sat on a Chair
till he died of despair,
That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.

There was an old Person of Cromer,
Who stood on one leg to read Homer;
When he found he grew stiff,
he jumped over the cliff,
Which concluded that Person of Cromer.

There was an Old Man of the Hague,
Whose ideas were excessively vague;
He built a balloon
to examine the moon,
That deluded Old Man of the Hague.