A Book of Nonsense, part 8 by Edward Lear

There was a Young Lady of Parma,
Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:
When they said, “Are you dumb?”
she merely said, “Hum!”
That provoking Young Lady of Parma.

There was an Old Person of Sparta,
Who had twenty-five sons and one “darter;”
He fed them on Snails,
and weighed them in scales,
That wonderful Person of Sparta.

There was an Old Man on whose nose
Most birds of the air could repose;
But they all flew away
at the closing of day,
Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.

There was a Young Lady of Turkey,
Who wept when the weather was murky;
When the day turned out fine,
she ceased to repine,
That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.

There was an Old Man of Aosta
Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;
But they said, “Don’t you see
she has run up a tree,
You invidious Old Man of Aosta?”

There was a Young Person of Crete,
Whose toilette was far from complete;
She dressed in a sack
spickle-speckled with black,
That ombliferous Person of Crete.

There was a Young Lady of Clare,
Who was madly pursued by a Bear;
When she found she was tired,
she abruptly expired,
That unfortunate Lady of Clare.

There was a Young Lady of Dorking,
Who bought a large bonnet for walking;
But its color and size
so bedazzled her eyes,
That she very soon went back to Dorking.

There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
Who wished he had never been born;
So he sat on a Chair
till he died of despair,
That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.

There was an old Person of Cromer,
Who stood on one leg to read Homer;
When he found he grew stiff,
he jumped over the cliff,
Which concluded that Person of Cromer.

There was an Old Man of the Hague,
Whose ideas were excessively vague;
He built a balloon
to examine the moon,
That deluded Old Man of the Hague.