A Book of Nonsense, part 2 by Edward Lear

There was an Old Man with a flute,--
A “sarpint” ran into his boot!
But he played day and night,
till the “sarpint” took flight,
And avoided that Man with a flute.

There was a Young Lady of Portugal,
Whose ideas were excessively nautical;
She climbed up a tree
to examine the sea,
But declared she would never leave Portugal.

There was an Old Person of Ischia,
Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;
He danced hornpipes and jigs,
and ate thousands of figs,
That lively Old Person of Ischia.

There was an Old Man of Vienna,
Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;
When that did not agree,
he took Camomile Tea,
That nasty Old Man of Vienna.

There was an Old Man in a boat,
Who said, “I’m afloat! I’m afloat!”
When they said, “No, you ain’t!”
he was ready to faint,
That unhappy Old Man in a boat.

There was an Old Person of Buda,
Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder,
Till at last with a hammer
they silenced his clamor.
By smashing that Person of Buda.

There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
Who had the most curious behavior;
For while he was able,
he slept on a table,
That funny Old Man of Moldavia.

There was an Old Person of Hurst,
Who drank when he was not athirst;
When they said, “You’ll grow fatter!”
he answered “What matter?”
That globular Person of Hurst.

There was an Old Man of Madras,
Who rode on a cream-colored Ass;
But the length of its ears
so promoted his fears,
That it killed that Old Man of Madras.

There was an Old Person of Dover,
Who rushed through a field of blue clover;
But some very large Bees
stung his nose and his knees,
So he very soon went back to Dover.

There was an Old Person of Leeds,
Whose head was infested with beads;
She sat on a stool
and ate gooseberry-fool,
Which agreed with that Person of Leeds.

There was an Old Person of Cadiz,
Who was always polite to all ladies;
But in handing his daughter,
he fell into the water,
Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz.