A Book of Nonsense, part 5 by Edward Lear

There was an Old Person of Rhodes,
Who strongly objected to toads;
He paid several cousins
to catch them by dozens,
That futile Old Person of Rhodes.

There was an Old Man of the South,
Who had an immoderate mouth;
But in swallowing a dish
that was quite full of Fish,
He was choked, that Old Man of the South.

There was an Old Man of Melrose,
Who walked on the tips of his toes;
But they said, “It ain’t pleasant
to see you at present,
You stupid Old Man of Melrose.”

There was an Old Man of the Dee,
Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea;
When he said, “I will scratch it!”
they gave him a hatchet,
Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.

There was a Young Lady of Lucca,
Whose lovers completely forsook her;
She ran up a tree,
and said “Fiddle-de-dee!”
Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.

There was an Old Man of Coblenz,
The length of whose legs was immense;
He went with one prance
from Turkey to France,
That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.

There was an Old Man of Bohemia,
Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;
But one day, to his grief,
she married a thief,
Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.

There was an Old Man of Corfu,
Who never knew what he should do;
So he rushed up and down,
till the sun made him brown,
That bewildered Old Man of Corfu.

There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,
Who studied the works of Vitruvius;
When the flames burnt his book,
to drinking he took,
That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.

There was an Old Man of Dundee,
Who frequented the top of a tree;
When disturbed by the Crows,
he abruptly arose,
And exclaimed, “I’ll return to Dundee!”

There was an Old Lady whose folly
Induced her to sit in a holly;
Whereon, by a thorn
her dress being torn,
She quickly became melancholy.

There was an Old Man on some rocks,
Who shut his Wife up in a box:
When she said, “Let me out,”
he exclaimed, “Without doubt
You will pass all your life in that box.”

There was an Old Person of Rheims,
Who was troubled with horrible dreams;
So to keep him awake
they fed him with cake,
Which amused that Old Person of Rheims.

There was an Old Man of Leghorn,
The smallest that ever was born;
But quickly snapt up he
was once by a Puppy,
Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.

There was an Old Man in a pew,
Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;
But he tore it in pieces,
to give to his Nieces,
That cheerful Old Man in a pew.